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Death is only a horizon,
and a horizon is nothing save the limit of our sight.
-Rossitor.W. Raymond



One crow sorrow
Two crows mirth
Three crows a joining
Four crows a birth
Five crows silver
Six crows gold
Seven crows a secret
Never to be told


curious life form(s) checking to see if I'm really insane

have now been mentally rearranged

It's not the size of the dog in the fight,
It's the size of the fight in the dog.


"I'll speak in riddles so you can understand
I'll draw in pencil so you can trace with pen"

"The International Person Of Mystery."
-My all mighty official title, courtesy of Fallen.


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"Slicker than an oil spill, and possibly just as deadly."
-Gloria's lovely words to describe myself.


"You're weird in a fun way."
-Andy, to me.


"You're the one I go and sit down cross legged before and say, "Master, what is the answer to..." "
Brooke, to me.


"I wouldn't say that there aren't exceptions to every rule. And if there were, you would be it."

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This is the "How I Goddamn Feel", section. Below is what you read if you're curious as to open the current emotional casket of Sevencrows. So do enjoy filling yourself with MY bitter feelings, and then, do go get some of your own.
Cheers.

What's currently rampaging around my mind:


The broken clock is a comfort
It helps me sleep tonight
Maybe it can stop tomorrow
From stealing all my time
I am here still waiting
Though I still have my doubts
I am damaged at best
Like you've already figured out

I'm falling apart
I'm barely breathing
With a broken heart
That's still beating
In the pain
There is healing
In your name
I find meaning

The broken locks were a warning
You got inside my head
I tried my best to be guarded
I'm an open book instead
I still see your reflection
Inside of my eyes
That are looking for a purpose
They're still looking for life

I'm falling apart
I'm barely breathing
With a broken heart
That's still beating
In the pain
Is there healing
In your name
I find meaning
So I'm holdin' on
(I'm still holdin')
I'm holdin' on
I'm barely holdin' on to you

I'm hangin' on another day
Just to see what you will throw my way
And I'm hanging on to the words you say
You said that I will be okay

The broken lights on the freeway
Left me here alone
I may have lost my way now
Haven't forgotten my way home


(Lifehouse - Broken)




Nickname:

Everything else: A mystery. Wrapped in a riddle and cloaked in a conundrum.



"Death is a revolving door."

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"Dreaming permits each and every one of us to be quietly and safely insane every night of our lives."

"Train yourself to let go
of everything you fear to lose."

   


"Reality is instantaneous. There are no boundaries."

"Only those who can leave behind everything they have ever believed in can hope to escape."


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Compliments go out to CM, for doing a beautious job straightening out my main template and for always being there to answer my endless ignorant questions. You're a goddess.


Some fun places to visit

Possibly the most addictive game on the net
(Compliments of Babydragon)

A truly deliciously sick, hypnotic, way to spend your time
(Compliments of Sinja)

Foamy

The Meatrix

Store Wars



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Halcyon
Romulus
Verena
Aedan
Caelris
Jack Ryan
Saladin
Alyred
Fallen
Gloria
Solender
Theoneandonlydave
Sleep
Sinja
Tao
Andy
Curiously Mad
Blueskelton
Areyougod
Raejane
Rocker
Kitty
Dr.God
J f Z
Princess Deirdre
Anthony
Pirwzwhomper
Daveman
Push



It's sunday noon in my room
The wind is really rageing
Inside I'll hide in my tomb
And think of yesterday
Playing, in my room, in my room
I feel like a kite high in a tree
Is this where I'm supposed to be?
I wish I was a little boy
When love was taken care of
I know
I will say
Maybe today
It's sunday noon cocoon and heal
Oh no please don't throw me in the prior
When mothers made all the meals
And fathers built the fire
When will this feeling go away?
When will this feeling ever stay?
Maybe today
Maybe today
Now I'm not so mournful
As I sit and watch the wind blow
This place is my cathedral
And the choir's swaying just outside the window
Everyone needs a day to dream
Per chance
Today I have yesterday to tempt me
So come on put on your best dress and lets dance
For the chairs are all but empty
When will this feeling go away?
When will this feeling ever stay?
Maybe today
Maybe today
Maybe today


Maybe Today
Carbon Leaf



Disclaimer


Thursday, June 01, 2006

Don't worry about life, you're not going to survive it anyways!

Anything that you cannot withstand, is going to kill you.  So do not worry.

"Don't worry about the future.  Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum."
And for that matter, also do not be sorry for anything that has happened.
Regrets are a waste of time.  They're the past crippling you in the present.
"What you do is far less important than what you learn in the process. Everything you experience is an opportunity to wake up."  Keep in mind that every experience is a teaching.  Don't be dismayed by the outcome, instead take a minute to stop and realize what it is you have learned.  And if you can't see it, that's okay.  Know that you've learned it anyways.  It may seem that people are against you, but Life is always on your side.  Every outcome is always to your advantage, even if you may not know it until sometime after.  Rest assured Life will walk you down the path where you're supposed to be.  Right and wrong, good and bad... are all just a way of looking at the things that Are.  Misperceptions in the eternity of what Is.  Don't be too quick to judge, before you've heard from the jury.  You may find that what has seemed like murder, is really a test to see if you are exercising your patience enough to understand all the evidence.  And once you realize that "guilty" and "innocent" are just immaterial terms attached to a situation that is out of your hands, you'll find you don't have to feel the responsibility to decide the verdict.  The only decisions you need make are those of yourself.  Accept that the court system you're taking part in is running to its own accord.  All that is required of you is to run yourself at your own accord, and to let others do the same.  Things have a funny way of working themselves out.
"Don't turn away from possible futures before you're certain you don't have anything to learn from them.  You're always free to change your mind and choose a different future, or a different past."

Alter in perception, and reality comes with it.
And as soon as you discover you have the ability to alter your perception at will, than you'll find your reality can be exactly as you wish.

All there is, is now.  The past and the future are nothing more than images, ideas, memories, and interpretations; thoughts that we flip back and forth between in the present.  The future may seem scary and intimidating until you realize that there's nothing to be afraid of.  It isn't there until you're in it, and you'll find that you're quite adjusted to living in the Now.  The past may seem sad, depressing, or cruel until you realize that it can't hurt you anymore.

Don't dwell on what's been, you've got to be.



I chased my mind at 10:41 am with Sevencrows
(6) of you slipped   

Sunday, February 26, 2006

The remedy is the experience

"Don't be dismayed at good-byes.
A farewell is necessary before you can meet again.
And meeting again, after moments or lifetimes, is certain for those who are friends."


I chased my mind at 12:07 am with Sevencrows
Slip into another reality   

Saturday, February 25, 2006

Who says that you deserve this and what kind of god would serve this?

Is it a kind of dream?
Floating out on the tide
Following the river of death downstream
Or, is it a dream?

There's a fog along the horizon
A strange glow in the sky
And nobody seems to know where you go
And what does it mean
Oh, is it a dream?

Bright eyes,
Burning like fire
Bright eyes,
How can you close and fail?
How can the light that burned so brightly
Suddenly burn so pale?
Bright eyes

Is it a kind of shadow
Reaching into the night
Wandering over the hills unseen
Or is it a dream?

There's a high wind in the trees
A cold sound in the air
And nobody ever knows when you go
And where do you start
Oh, into the dark

Bright eyes,
Burning like fire
Bright eyes,
how can you close and fail?
How can the light that burned so brightly
Suddenly burn so pale?
Bright eyes


(Simon & Garfunkel - Bright Eyes)



I chased my mind at 12:40 pm with Sevencrows
Slip into another reality   

Thursday, November 24, 2005

Move!

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I chased my mind at 11:33 am with Sevencrows
(6) of you slipped   

Monday, October 17, 2005

Through the clothes, all the grey, I'll stay if you go away

As I was walking home along the empty street, backwards as a matter of fact, so I could watch the moon, something made me stop. Although headphones clung to my ears, playing their magic melody into my mind, I knew the world around me was peaceful; although perhaps not so quiet. Occasional wind tossed the trees, and the roar of the river was ever present. I stood still, residing beneath my flowing black hood, peering out at my surroundings, feeling for once not so much that I was a part of my surroundings, but that my surroundings were a part of me. I let the moon pull me into it, or perhaps I pulled it into me.
          “Look,” the moon whispered.
I turned around. There over the hilly-mountains was a rainbow. A dark luminous ark reaching across the sky and curving over the shape of the mountains. I stared. I turned back to the moon, then around again to face the dark colored rainbow looming over the hills. So dark and mysterious, and so unlike anything I had ever seen, but yet so beautiful. The colors were there, but they were all darkened to extremes; intense; this rainbow was one of the shadows. Colors from a deeper sweet tragedy, like the rainbows that can be seen within the ebony feathers of the crow if tilted to the light just right. A deep subtleness to it, and yet a blackened calling all the same. I gazed at it for a while, loosing myself in it. Then, just as suddenly as I’d noticed it, it faded away and was gone.
          There’s nothing unusual about seeing a rainbow.
          Except that it was night.

I chased my mind at 08:22 pm with Sevencrows
(7) of you slipped   

Sunday, September 25, 2005

Look around and choose your own ground

"Computer Intelligence"

"After the completion of an advanced computer translation program, a delegation that included a U.S. senator was proudly taken through a demonstration of the computer system. The senator was asked to produce an English phrase for translation and promptly suggested, “Out of sight, out of mind.” The machine dutifully whirred and winked and generated a piece of paper on which were printed a few Chinese characters. But the senator could not read Chinese. So, to complete the test, the program was run in reverse, the Chinese characters input and an English phrase output. The visitors crowded around the new piece of paper, which to their initial puzzlement read:
“Invisible idiot.”"


I chased my mind at 09:45 am with Sevencrows
Slip into another reality   

Sunday, September 11, 2005

If you're making the choice tell me all the girls and boys either scream or rejoice

I awoke to the most interesting advertisment on the radio this morning.


Woman - "This is what it's like after sex with a normal condom:"
Man with a deep dramatic voice - "The female kicks the male out of the nest."
Woman - "This is what it's like after sex with a durax condom:"
Man with deep dramatic voice - "The female makes the male a big plate of pancakes."
The woman makes some comments on the product.
Man with deep dramatic voice - "Mmm. Maple syrup."



I chased my mind at 11:33 am with Sevencrows
(2) of you slipped   

Saturday, August 27, 2005

We are lost and we are found, this phoenix rises up from the ground

9:03 am

A large sum of ancient books that needed to have their values looked up. I started the job at 10:30 pm and finished at 4:00 am. That huge time chunk was mostly due to lack of focusing. I was signed into messenger, talking on Tag, and was all around taking my time. But granted, there were two records and one framed landscape that were on the “agitatingly difficult to find” list, and were therefore assigned to me due to my ‘net abilities’. I found them, of course. A couple Prozac later, but I found them.
The landscape would have been quite simple, if I had been typing in “Wallace Nutting” instead of “Mallace Nutting”.
But I think I did amazingly well considering I guessed on the last three letters.
And am I the only one who thinks “Wallace Nutting” sounds like a crazy wallpaper company?

Speaking of crazy, some crazy part of me suggested to a friend the same night, being last night, that we meet at 8:00 the next morning. Some crazier part of them said, “okay”.
Ahem.
It is now 9:48 and I have yet to see them.
And yes, it has taken me 45 minutes to think out the entry above.
Let me make it all clear.
I didn’t get to sleep until 5:00 am.
My alarm rudely awakened me at 7:40 am.
That’s two and a half hours of sleep.
Or, technically, two hours and forty minutes.
But I’m rounding down due to the alarm shaving a good couple years off my life.
My alarm is music set. Or, I should say, my music is my alarm. I set my stereo to hop to track one and play through for an hour. Normally, I hear the nearly silent click of my stereo turning on at the set time before the music begins, and I’ll usually leap for my remote and either turn it off or turn the volume way down before it even begins to play. Of course when I say ‘leap’ I mean swing my arm as if I’m violently swatting a bug in the direction I believe my remote to be located in. Once in my grasp I tip it in the general path of my stereo and with the magic touch of a button, whala! Silence. My eyes often don’t even open for this process.
But, when you’re going off of two and a half hours of sleep, you tend to overlook things like nearly silent clicks. So, at the tick of 7:40, there was suddenly a rock concert in my room and I had front row seats.
Picture a seal being born in free fall.

Regardless of my short period of sleep, I still groped for my laptop at 8:00 and made my appearance. This friend caused me to change schedule, set aside exhaustion, join consciousness, and then struggle for it for hours as they stood me up. For those of you unaware, I am awake during the night and sleep during the day. So if getting up at a daylight hour isn’t bad enough, getting up at an early daylight hour for no reason, is just about as deathly as they come. I don’t think this person understands what I do to people who commit such crimes.

Eh, at least I got an entry out of them.


I chased my mind at 08:16 am with Sevencrows
(7) of you slipped   

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

Like a drifter I was born to walk alone

I've heard of many, many people getting paper cuts. But to slice yourself on cardboard, now THAT takes some unique skill. And I have the wound to prove it.

I chased my mind at 07:13 pm with Sevencrows
(7) of you slipped   

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

Concrete, tall as the sky, movement passing me by

There's something about lying on your back in a familiar field looking up at the summer-blue evening sky, watching dragonflies and sparrows dance with each other till the sun disappears...


I chased my mind at 08:32 pm with Sevencrows
(2) of you slipped   

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